Anxiety and Depression

Hi, assalamualaikum!
I'm finally back writing on blog again after almost two years of hiatus.
Currently, pursuing myself to obtain first degree in Computer Science in USM.
Just finished my first year and struggling for final exam.

Ever since I got myself over here, I noticed myself had been too far different from before.
I prefer myself to be alone,
I prefer myself to be introvert,
I know no one would read my blog.
I write it because I want to. Because I know if I tell anyone nobody listens, nobody understands except Him.

I only have my best friend. She is the one who listens to my depression.
Yes I am depressed.
I am not sad, I am depressed.
I think about Ive been embrassing myself in front of people (though I wasnt)
I think about I never been a good friend of anyone.
I think about I never been good for anyone.
I think about I am guilty and blaming myself for everything

I prefer to hide and isolate myself from meeting new people.
I even feel like everyone dont like me at their best.

I dont know why i feel this way.
I am depressed, i feel anxious for nothing,
Allahu, help me ya Allah.
You are the one that I can rely on.
please help me Allah.